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THE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER OF CLIFTONVILLE HOCKEY CLUB

RESULTS, SATURDAY 25^th NOVEMBER

 THIS WEEK, SATURDAY 2^nd DECEMBER

FORTHCOMING MATCHES, SATURDAY 9^th DECEMBER

CLUB HOUSE DUTY = THE 2^nd XI

DATES FOR THE DIARY
Club Dinner Dance – 31^st March 2001

Match Reports

Ladies vs. New Beccs, lost 1-0

Glad to say I can report on this game and say it was not unfriendly. It was competitive and most enjoyable - yes, enjoyable even though we lost.

We turned up to St Lawrence on a grey old day; threat of rain hanging in the air. It managed to stay up in the sky whilst the Men's 1st XI played then it dumped the lot on us! To add to the dullness of the day, was the fact that we only had 9 players. Don't ask me where everyone was, but it's getting near to Christmas (I guess). Still the reliable 9 turned out to do our best. In my opinion it was one of the most enjoyable games I have played all season. I, along with the rest of the team, gave 110%, as we knew we had to with only 9. We dominated the game for 99% of the match, had at least a dozen short corners, but still couldn't score (suppose we better work at these shorts - any guys volunteering to give us some guidance?). We dominated in open play in the midfield. We crated loads of chances to score and had we had just one more player, planted on the far post, we would have won this match easily. We had one tiny moment of lapse of concentration, 10 mins into the game and they scored. That was there one and only real chance.

Sarah and Liz performed magnificently in stopping nearly every single 16-yard hit they had and taking the ball in to attack. Liz hit the post and came so close to scoring on so many occasions.

Our 3 defenders, Cathy, Heather and Sharon were solid. Lorna ran her legs off, helping out in midfield. Cobby was all over the place battling and winning the ball. Claire got cold and soaking in goal, with not much to do.

So, it would have been nice to have won. Even the oppos congratulated us on such a great performance with only 9 players. Glad to say 99% of the team felt as good as I did when we came off the pitch at the end of the day, soaked through, but smiling.

Must say a huge thanks to Jez for umpiring and he did a grand job, again. Dunno how he sees my feet kick the ball so much from the other end of the pitch.

Well done girlies, lets hope we scrape together more than 9 for next week against the very strong side of Tunbridge Wells, and it's away!

Tracy "still-only-one-goal" Parsons

Ladies vs. BBHC, drew 1-1 (18-11-00)

After a difficult week of trying to rearrange the game and finding an umpire Sharon finally arrived at St Lawrence at the allotted time with 11 players and an umpire from Westgate Ladies.

It was a hard fought game but evenly matched (we had 11 they had 10 unless you count their umpire). BBHC began the game very hard and gained a PF, Claire forgot she was playing on pitch and not in goal. A well-taken stroke resulted in BBHC being 1-0 up.

The 2nd half started much the same as the 1st but we fought back and Julie "poacher" Cobb scored. We are lead to believe that she hopes if she scores the most goals, that Stuart will afford her the same promise as he has Tracy! With some passion and fantastic skill I managed to clear a certain goal off the line, upsetting the BBHC umpire who had already started to celebrate. Final score 1-1.

Well played everyone, it was a good game. Caroline, who is still not fit, has stepped down as Vice-captain, but continues as our fixture secretary. Cathy Hollis (not of the motor fame) has agreed to step in and help Sharon for the rest of the season.

Many thanks to our umpire (sorry I can't remember your name).

Heather "Barking" Lewis

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what is going wrong with the 1st XI at the moment. Is it lack of commitment? No. Is it lack of effort and determination? No. Is it too many ginger haired players? Could be…

Another game that should have been won with some ease saw another three points escape, and firmly places the 1's in the relegation dogfight. Starting much the brighter of the two teams, chances came and went in the first 15 without reward, whilst the opposition had two chances to score, and duly did so on both occasions. A goal was soon pulled back when the goal machine Burton scrambled a loose ball over the line, but was almost immediately cancelled out by the opposition's third scoring chance and goal of the game. Half time 3-1.

The second half saw Ville score early on through Matthew Young, only for Oaks to again pull two goals in front immediately from the restart. Still unwilling to concede defeat, Ville scored their third through Steve Burton, and virtually penned the opposition in their own half for the remainder of the game, but without reward. Chasing the game and throwing men forward left Ville open for the counter attack, and Oaks scored their fifth shortly before the final whistle.

The simple reason that the 1's are losing games is that they are not taking their chances, or converting their dominance and possession into goals. On the balance of play the score should have been 4-0 to the Ville at half time, and yet it was 1-3 instead.

Having three goals disallowed also does not help.

1st XI vs. Enfield (HA Vase), won 5-0

THE LIFTING OF THE GINGER CURSE

The 1's travelled to Enfield for the 2nd round of the HA Vase on Saturday (via the Neasden Interchange) confident of a morale sapping defeat, only to play some good hockey, convert their (2nd half) chances and win with some ease.

A completely one sided (in Ville's favour) first half saw no goals. A more even second half saw Ville take (nearly) all their chances, goals coming from Andy Dunn, Matthew "Lurch" Young (2) and Matthew Westby (2).

What can be learnt from this game?

1. Scoring when the chance allows = winning! 
2. Andy Dunn plays better when seeing four goals, three balls and fairies dancing on the sidelines (I think I am being generous when I say your first shot was only four goal widths wide). 
3. There is such a thing as "A Ginger Curse"! 
4. We can in fact win with the 1st team captain playing (something I was beginning to doubt). 
5. Roddy is indeed a plonker. 
6. Real men play even if they HAVE A COLD. 
7. Aftershave on an astro burn does make it smell nice but it does smart. 8. And finally, it is true, only JESUS SAVES.

Team: Ed "Jesus" Chater, Neil "Magic" Jordan, Roddy "U plonker" Buchanan, Jez "Never late" Parkin, Graham "Floppy Jaffa" Brooks, Jules "Rent Boy" Robinson, Andy "Brewery breath" Dunn, Matthew "Viagra" Westby, Stuart "Stubby" Ballard, Matthew "Lurch" Young, Steve "Chewie" Burton.

Floppy

2nd XI vs. BBHC, drew 1-1

For the third time this season we faced BBHC. Having held on to a 3-2 win last week BBHC were out for revenge and it was a strong BBHC side we faced on Saturday

The team had a few changes from last week with the absence of Tim due to injury, Jules due to corporate hospitality, Pat due to brown nosing and Matt due to even more pronounced brown nosing.

We welcomed Danny George who has always helped us out in the past and Stuart who also stepped into the breech and finally a particular welcome back to James Foot who claimed to have played for us earlier in the year but nobody could remember him.

It's a long old drive up to BBHC and we arrived in the customary rain. We started well and played some good hockey (don't forget good is a relative concept) and after some pressure we managed to score from a Short Corner. Modesty prevents me from telling you who scored it, oh what the hell, Steve Burton claims he will never hear the last of it any way, It was me! We then continued to play well and created chance after chance, cutting through the BBHC defence like an oxyacetylene torch through an ice sculpture of the Neasdon flyover. Unfortunately we were unable to convert this pressure into goals.

During the second half BBHC piled on the pressure and after some stalwart defending we capitulated and they poached the equaliser.

Overall it was good performance with Adam Kalifa playing extremely well and this draw keeps us top of the league. Are we the quiet success of the club at the moment?

We have reached the halfway point in the league and if can play the back 7 as well as the opening 7 perhaps Algy will be leading us into galaxies new.

2nd XI vs. BBHC, won 3-2

What a game! What a performance! What a win! I've not seen anything so exciting since the 1975 Neasden Underwater Welding Competition.

BBHC always provide a tough game and with former second team stalwart Alex "Cack" Mitchell playing for them it was going to be even more difficult. We played well and after some good play scored a goal through Tim (I think). He has given us no end of penetration up front since his arrival a few weeks ago. The team continued to play well and goals from Nick Waite and Adam Kalifa, who played a blinder in the middle, resulted in us being 3-0 up with 10 minutes to go. We then decided that it was not sporting to win by this margin, so let 2 soft goals in.

Sea Cucumber

3rd XI v Holcombe 3A

Two hours of torrential rain led to a very late abandonment of the game. Arse. Our oppo. went straight home, leaving us to scoff all the tea. Every cloud….

Spanky

Senators vs. Chelmsford, lost 5-0

Cliftonville Senators once again went into a landscape that was more akin to "Mordor" than the green and pleasant land of Blakes "Jerusalem", and this time rather then venturing across the Weald of Kent, crossed under the Thames Estuary into the County of Essex. The Senators playing strength these days is a bit like doing the pools, perm any XI from however many players in the club who are over 40. It was with grateful thanks to both Jimmy Robinson and David Lawrie for joining the clan to play Chelmsford at South Ferrers together with Dave Burney making a permanent transition. Although there was plenty of surface water laying in the car park, the pitch was being played on before us and looked alright!

The game started and as has been the habit this season, Ville flattered to deceive for the first 10 minutes and it was not long before Chelmsford were penning the Senators back into their own half by which time the heavens had opened and rain was starting to come down. Despite valiant efforts by everybody, the first half was fairly one way with Chelmsford scoring four goals and Cliftonville only having one shot at goal, but at least the Senators were getting an experience of what it must be like to play on a water based pitch as the rain just kept coming. A.Manager insisted that it was a game of two halves and that although they had won the first half the second half should be treated as a new game and if we did not commit silly errors and tried to suppress the their play makers, perhaps more of a game could be made of it.

It was clear however that Chelmsford had got the bit between their teeth and it was not long before they scored a fifth goal. By this time the amount of water on the pitch was more than enough for a synchronised swimming competition and the Senators did seem to start having more of the play. Whether this was due to better handling of the atrocious conditions or Chelmsford easing off it is difficult to determine, but there were a number of opportunities and the Chelmsford goalkeeper was certainly kept busier in the second half but to no avail. Before the end of the game, the two ladies team who were due to take part after us, came along and when they saw that one of the Chelmsford players, in an attempt to get the ball off PB, was deliberately flicking him with water from a puddle, they determined that their game would really be unplayable.

Still the showers were hot, and Chelmsford entertained us well at their clubhouse, even although it was a 20-minute drive along the country lanes to get from the astro pitch to their clubhouse. Although our clubhouse is not on the side of either of the two astro pitches, they are both within a few minutes drive that does not make it too bad in comparison. This weeks-elegant XI were: -

Chris Burton, Trevor Devon, James Goatcher, David Lawrie, Terry Westby, Mike Tyler, paul Bailey, Jimmy Robinson, Richard Bateman, Dave Burney, Nick Alder.

Once again silver-tongued James persuaded Chelmsford's umpire to allow us to keep all XI on the pitch, rather than have to take one off to umpire.

PS - The previous week saw Ville more disappointingly lose at home 3-1 to Canterbury B Vets, although at least we did succeed in getting our first goal of the season in the league through Mike Parrott.

Next up on the magical mystery tour of the Senators is a 4.30 start at Sevenoaks this Saturday, and then a 12 o'clock start at Bishop Stortford on 9 December. It's a nomadic life in the Senators!

Court and Social

Idiot of the week… goes to Tracy for leaving her clean, dry kit in the Car and letting Stu drive off with it after his game. She is still recovering from having to wear Steve Burtons Liverpool tracksuit bottoms (being a Gooner this was most uncomfortable for her). Apparently she went commando in them…Now there's a story…

Quote of the week… "After playing in that weather I could do with something warm inside me!" Launa Wells.

Multiple quotes of the week… Launa "I met a man last night" (in the casino). "He offered me his services" (supposedly as a goalkeeper for the club). ""See, I bend over backwards for this club".

Idiot II of the week… goes to Neil Jordan. When told St Lawrence was under water, he responded with the question "Is it flooded?" D'oh!

A big thank you…to those suggestions I received as newsletter editor on how to improve on it. I have thought long and hard on your comments and decided to IGNORE them all. If this offends then please fell free to STOP READING THE NEWSLETTER.

Other stuff
As the rest of the club are probably aware, we desperately need another Ladies side. The reasons are obvious, as only 9 turning out for a league game this week.

I know the ladies side have tried to attract newcomers to the club. But I think we could do with some help. I am more than willing to do fliers to the local schools, which I thought some teachers were already involved in. Has this happened?

Also, what was the outcome of asking the other 2 ladies sides to combine with us? It's all gone very quiet.

I hear the Westgate ladies have 2 teams and a coach (male) who is associated with this club - is this true?

Is it our subs and match fees which put them off - what do Westgate charge? We could do with some support, help, ideas, and suggestions on how to get young ladies to commit themselves to playing hockey and playing every week and joining us. Any suggestions (constructive ones!) will be gratefully received.
Trace.

Vintage Cup
The Vintage part of the men's club (over 50's) play host to Chelmsford Evergreens on Sunday 10 December at 12 o'clock at St Lawrence College. I am sure that not only will they be looking for oxygen tanks on the side, but for as many of the club to come along to support them as possible. The younger members really ought to come along and support them, as over the years they have ensured that the club is there for them and it will be a nice gesture if we could get as many up there supporting them as possible.

Thanet Festival
As some of you may be aware, it is unlikely that there will be a Thanet Festival this year and the club is considering what measures if any we can take to hold something of our own. Before the club is prepared to go down this route, we will need to be totally aware of the commitment that everybody is prepared to give to this. Please talk to your captain with any ideas.

75th Season
Whilst it might be a few weeks after the event, Don Elmore should publicly be congratulated for all the hard work and effort in organising a super "Quiz Evening" which was thoroughly enjoyed by many club members and non-club members. It is interesting when you go round other clubs that the strength of a club should not only be measured in its playing ability, but the strength of having a "club feeling" and it is clear that the events that have been got up and organised is helping to make this a stronger club. There are two further events through the year, being the club Super and the Dinner Dance. Please ensure that we all give Don as much support as possible.