|
 Find out why this link to Amazon is here and how it can earn our club money without costing it a penny!
|
 |
|
|
|
(Photograph
supplied by JULIE COBB)
| Name: |
Chesney Hawkes |
| A.K.A.: |
Paul Tiberius Cobb |
| Also
looks like: |
Dietmar
Hamann (side on) |
| Occupation: |
Professional
singer (failed)
Actor (wooden)
Accountant
(bloody expensive)
Don Johnson impersonator (see above image) |
| Hobbies: |
Karaoke. |
| Best
buddies with: |
Ned
Flanders. Has links with the former Afghan Taliban government
(unsubstantiated). |
| A
brief history: |
A
valuable member of the first eleven, Paul mysteriously vanished at the
height of his hockey-playing career in the late eighties, and seemingly
vanished from the face of the earth. Soon afterwards, and some would say
suspiciously soon, Chesney Hawkes, a talentless tosser and twice winner
of “Most annoying Facial Growth of the Year”, took the pop world by
storm with his unique bland tripe. Also a body double on Miami Vice,
Chesney’s fame was to be thankfully short lived, and his brief
flirtation as teenage pinup sank, despite attempts to re-invent himself.
Now to be found squabbling with Philip Neville at all first team
matches. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
HM Government Warning: This man
should not be allowed to sing karaoke, as prolonged
exposure may cause nausea, diarrhoea and suicide.
|
|
|
|
|
